We should think about ourselves and our staff if we strive to hold on to difficult customers, writes Ultan Molloy
I had a read of a PharmaBuddy thread recently regarding dealing with aggressive patients. It’s a really interesting read and gave plenty of food for thought on possible approaches. The Wild Rover lyrics kept coming to mind for me: “… A custom of yours, we can have any day…”
We don’t need every customer that walks through the door. Not everyone is good for our business, our mental health, and indeed that of our team. I know that having debt and trying to pay the bills, and a fear of being unreasonable, all play into the emotions around this. I have opened a pharmacy which had a relatively low turnover vs the bills for several years, and I’ve opened another pharmacy carrying significant debt, often working 60+ hour weeks, so I know how it feels.
Often, it’s the thoughts that can be most exhausting. ‘What if we lose their custom? What if they tell other people? They’ll take all their family’s prescriptions elsewhere?’ I hear you, as I have heard myself thinking like this in the past. This thinking can cause an amount of stress and internal turmoil for a highly self-assured person, and more so for a prolific ruminator like myself.
Lets look at the fears individually.
Firstly, what if we lose their custom? Well, flipping this on its head: What is it costing you in terms of your time, stress levels, and your energy? What is it distracting you from? Perhaps cost-out their custom, and put a figure on it. Then apply your gross margin to the turnover figure. Then put this figure in the context of your monthly turnover, and make a decision. Are you prepared to suck it up for the profit, or do you want to encourage them politely to move elsewhere, where they could be happier with the service they’re receiving?
Secondly, will they tell other people? I’d suggest that most people are mainly concerned with themselves and their own experience. We all have friends, family and acquaintances who we pay very limited heed too. Especially those who have form in this department. I’d suggest we just catch a breath, and think about what you need for yourself and your team.
Thirdly, what is this distracting you from? The 80/20 rule can be applied here. We have limited time and energy. If 20 per cent of your customers are taking up 80 per cent of your energy, time and resources, then maybe we need to consider where our focus is directed. One could assertively make oneself less available for someone who’s being unreasonable or overly demanding of your time. Respectfully and politely advise on your policies around this, and assert your boundaries.
We should be at our best to promote safe and effective medicine use, serve and support our patients, showing empathy and providing counselling. We cannot allow ourselves to end up enmeshed in someone’s projected childhood trauma, their unreasonable expectations of us and our team, or their inability to respect our boundaries.
This all assumes we of course are being reasonable in the situations that arise. Perhaps a mirror, such as a conversation with a couple of friends, confidants or colleagues, can give you another perspective on the situation. You’ll just have to call it and move on with your life then.
We cannot allow ourselves to end
up enmeshed in someone’s projected childhood trauma
I know in the past that I’ve, to my shame, not given my staff the benefit of the doubt, on a ‘bend over backwards’ policy for customer service, born out of a ‘customer is always right’ belief, and a lack of self-assurance. However, one can only bend so far before one breaks. Our team is our company face and deserve your support, and deserve to feel supported in any reasonable and respectful efforts to put a boundary on customers. I know I have lost staff in the past on foot of me having unreasonable expectations of them, and by making repeated pointed demands, and I feel bad about it when I think back. I wish I had behaved differently. However, every day is a school day, and managing my own stress and anxiety isn’t always easy.
We were discussing one’s mental health and overall levels of happiness last week. “Some people just have to work harder at it,” my wife Laura said to me. How true is that! We never know fully, of course, what’s going on in the lives of others. We have had a number of suicides over the last few months, as have many communities throughout the country As about 40 per cent of our ‘happiness’ is pre-determined by our genetics, and c. 10 per cent by our circumstances and environment, managing oneself to get the most of the remaining 50 per cent available for us to influence isn’t always easy. Prof Laurie Santos from Harvard, and The Happiness Lab podcast, tells us we can however control a number of things, and we can work at these things.
We can support our happiness by being more present, by cultivating gratitude on a daily basis, by exercising daily, by spending time in nature, by having positive sleep habits, including minimising alcohol intake and technology use, by being with our emotions through accepting and breathing into them, using meditation and reflection as a support, and by nurturing our healthy social connections and relationships. There’s a lot that’s in our control really, isn’t there?
I know given the nature of our work, especially in community pharmacy, it can often feel overwhelming. That everyone wants a piece of us, and that we’re not getting that time we need to recoup in order to restore ourselves to the best we can be.
I hope that sharing some of my thoughts above will encourage some people to reflect on how they are doing, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Have a think about all that is in the bounds of our control, and maybe there are a couple of things you will change that will resource you on your journey. That cliché about happiness being a journey rather than a destination comes to mind.
Some people just have to work harder at it.
Ultan Molloy is a business and professional performance coach, pharmacist, facilitator, and development specialist. He works with other pharmacists, business owners, and third parties to develop business strategies. Ultan can be contacted on 086 169 3343.
