No-one tells you what you’re really getting yourself into when it comes to having children, writes Ultan Molloy
I’ve struggled for the last few weeks. Bizarrely, given some of the longest days of the year, and some beautiful sunshine, as well as some holidays from work, these factors didn’t seem to offset a feeling of lethargy and drudgery that have pervaded my days, much like SAD in the dark winter months. I wish I could put a finger on what it is, but I know it’s going to be a journey back, rather than any sort of a quick fix.
This isn’t an unfamiliar situation, unfortunately. I’m just out from a sea swim now, and have been playing some music, so things are feeling somewhat lighter, thankfully, on foot of that. My darling wife has kindly supported a night away for me to recharge a little. The absence of time alone to recharge and resource myself is only now becoming clear in hindsight.
Our children were ours to care for in the absence of other childcare options for the month of August. While I love them, the expression ‘How can I miss you if you don’t go away?’ repeatedly came to mind. Night was turned into day, with really late bedtimes, accompanied by our familiar early starts with one of them, compressing our sleep hours and putting a kibosh on any time alone without the kids. A school-imposed routine on all of us was welcomed with open arms.
No-one tells you what you’re getting yourself into really when it comes to having children. For all the love and fun we get, the sibling fighting, shouting, arguments and demands rarely make it into the highlights reel on families’ and friends’ WhatsApp groups. Sure, we mightn’t want them at all if we had a full appreciation and understanding of what’s involved, after the fun bit!
As a raging introvert, or rather, one with a strong introvert preference, the ongoing inputs are hugely draining. I don’t feel like I’m getting a lot back from them in my roles of mediator and man-servant to our brood. Over nine years into parenting, and it has taken me up until last week to consider this paradigm and to think about how I can better resource myself to be better both as a person and as a parent. Maybe you had it all figured out a long time ago.
So what’s happening in pharmacy as the evenings start creeping in? NUIG are starting their pharmacy course in the near future, which is great news for students in the West and those thinking of studying pharmacy. Hopefully there’ll be more clarity and clarification at the outset as to what students are getting themselves into, and places won’t be used as a pathway to medicine or other non-pharmacy careers. Time will tell.
We could do with more boots on the ground. An ageing population, and talk of more pharmacists getting involved in services in the community outside of limited vaccination services has gone quiet. I’m sure the HSE will be saying ‘work away, but we’ve no money to fund it’, or some such short-sighted rebuff. I’m getting too old in the tooth to be optimistic around community pharmacy. Is our network of 2,000+ accessible healthcare professionals living up to its potential? I don’t think so. I wonder what the students going into the pharmacy courses are expecting.
That would be an interesting survey, if it hasn’t been done already. ‘Why are you choosing to study pharmacy?’ ‘What attracts you to pharmacy as a career?’ Etc. Working retail hours, dealing with members of the public, and amid ongoing interruptions, being able to focus on repetitive, detailed checking of medicines for people. It’s an impressive skill set to develop!
If you are not one for the details, if you like the bigger picture, you would prefer to be behind the scenes, and like time to focus on one thing at a time, maybe think about this before choosing a career in community pharmacy. This being said, one can carve-out a very enjoyable and healthy career with a pharmacy degree that will allow you to embrace many of the latter preferences.
You’ll have to work. Well, most of you anyway, so why not do the big thinking up front and get on a path early to a career that will bring you some level of flow, enjoyment and energy. ‘If I knew then what I know now!’ comes to mind. Perhaps the journey is needed in any case in order to bring the wisdom.
“We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no-one can take for us or spare us”. Marcel Proust.
IPU/DoH consultations are ongoing, the vaccination season is nearly upon us, a boycott of Israeli products is finally gathering momentum, and I’ve been selected for CPD portfolio review later in the year, none of which I want to think about on this fine evening, lest I drag myself down another unhelpful rabbit hole.
Hope you’re keeping well, and have had a great summer on many fronts. Until next time!
Ultan Molloy is a business and professional performance coach, pharmacist, facilitator, and development specialist. He works with other pharmacists, business owners, and third parties to develop business strategies. Ultan can be contacted on 086 169 3343.
